$3.99 a minute ain't that bad

A Chinese fortune cookie told me today that, "Nothing is to be feared- only to be understood." At first this seemed profound and thought-provoking, until I actually thought about it a little more-- WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? This sounds like a whole lot of bullshit, albeit a timely bit of bullshit considering the uncertainty of my future. Dammit. Why can't I just have a little crystal ball that tells me what my life will look like in a year? I am beginning to understand the appeal of those $3.99-a-minute psychic hotlines.

I would readily part with a crisp twenty dollar bill to have all the answers-- that money would give me 5 minutes of quality time with someone who just has to tap into a sixth sense to let me know when I am going to figure out Mr. Right, what career is best, where I should move, and what my dead grandmother has to say.

I figure that even if she (or he) bullshits around for a minute or two getting my name, birthdate, underwear color, etc, we could at least get the one and only question I want answered in before I quickly hang up when the egg timer on the oven goes off. Yep, a psychic would grant me some loooong overdue serenity. I can feel it now. Sure would be nice to avoid thinking about life's bigger issues since analyzing the shit out of everything only gives me an answer that becomes yet another question.

I'm tired tonight. Damn tired of everything and sad, really sad. I recently applied to a ranch in Wyoming for a summer job (I can continue to teach online if necessary: everywhere I am looking has WiFi), and I received a prompt response- unfortunately it was a prompt, "We would love to hire you but just recently filled the position" response. Dammit. I was told, "Please try applying next year, only maybe just a little earlier." Grr. I am applying to a couple other places... we'll see what happens.

I'll be bummed if I can't escape my life for a few months on a ranch. There is something so idealistically wonderful about galloping across moutain meadows. Then again, I would be leaving in a month, which means I would have to get my shit together. Speaking of which, where the hell is the semester going??? I have only a month until grades are due, which means I will do nothing other than prep, teach, grade, student conference, prep, teach, grade, student conference, prep..... ah, yeah.... until May 12th. I hope to God I am busy enough to avoid thinking.